It's Cancer - No More

Among the most important days in my life, today is up there. Numbers one and two in my life events would be the births of the lovely McCarley sisters. Number three is the birth of my grandson. And today, the day my radiation oncologist told me that I am cancer free, is also terrific.

I tried to remain positive during the months of my treatment, although I have to admit that it wasn't always easy to look at the bright side. There were days when I hurt so much that I couldn't get out of bed except to go to the bathroom. There were nights when Mr. B rubbed lotion on my arms that were covered with itchy chemo rash to help calm me. I remember the shock of seeing my chest after surgery. Even now my body is so swollen from steroids that my wedding ring won't fit on my finger. And I don't know which is worse, my swollen face or my semi-bald head. But there is an incredibly bright side ... I've survived breast cancer. In the upcoming months my strength and hair will return, and the chemicals will leave my body. And for the rest of my life I'll have a special place in my heart for my family and friends who supported me during this difficult time.

Today I'm celebrating LIFE.

It's Cancer - Radiation #19

The madness is almost over. I have just one more radiation treatment tomorrow and then I'm done. Sometime between 1-1:30 p.m. tomorrow I'm walking out of the treatment room and ringing the bell so loudly. And when the cashier returns my parking ticket and says, "See you tomorrow," I'm going to smile and say, "No you won't."

One thing on my agenda for tonight is to get either Dr. Mc or Big Daddy Nick to teach me how to stream live from my iPhone to Facebook, although I'm not sure I'll be behind the camera tomorrow. The radiation technicians are so young they probably already know all the iPhone tricks.

Tonight I'm celebrating my last night as a cancer patient. Beginning tomorrow, I'll refer to myself as a cancer survivor. I like the way that sounds.

It's Cancer - Radiation #18

After radiation today I went to my yoga class at MDA. The last 10-15 minutes of each class is deep relaxation, which I love. At one point the instructor says to merge with the big, blue sky. I usually make it to the clouds where I gently float. It's so relaxing.

Instead of floating in the clouds today I imagined being supported by angel wings. I can still feel how silky soft the wings were against my skin, and how cool it was when the angel wings fluttered. I believe the angel wings represent my family, friends and post readers who have raised my spirits and supported me throughout my treatments. The fluttering of the wings helped me release tension and frustration. It was a great yoga session.

Today I'm celebrating Friday night/pizza night. As a surprise, stopped by Red Dessert Dive on the way home from MDA for some yummy cupcakes. TLP loves a "treat" after dinner, and so does Tutu.

It's Cancer - Radiation #17

By the end of radiation today I had tears running down my checks. The technicians were back in the room a minute after the radiation stopped. They were wiping my tears and apologizing for the discomfort. They helped me put my gown back on and walked with me back to the dressing room. I laughed when they all told me how much they loved the pink vans I had on. My theory is that cute shoes can always help a girl get through a tough situation.

Every day when I walk from the radiation room back to the dressing room I pass by the bell on the wall and tell myself how many treatments I have left. Today I whispered to myself, "Only three left; you can do this."

Today I'm celebrating the breakfast tacos that Dr. Mc made for dinner. They were delish!

It's Cancer - Radiation #16 (for real this time)

Math has never been a strong subject for me, but I should be able to count to 20. Or so I thought. Yesterday I was reviewing my posts and realized that I had skipped radiation #12. I cried myself to sleep when I realized that I have one more radiation treatment than I thought.

The real radiation #16, which took place around 12:45 p.m. today, was as painful as I had been warned it would be. I used the breathing techniques I've learned to help calm myself. It was amazing how I could feel my muscles relax as I breathed through the pain.

Today I'm celebrating all things lavender. When I got home from MDA I lathered my arms with lavender scented lotion. It helped calm me down and soothe my dry skin. Radiation has done a number on my skin.

It's Cancer - Radiation #15

I'm amazed at how easily I tire. Even something as simple as walking, yoga and breathing exercises leave me exhausted. Yoga is in another building from where I get radiation. Walking to and from that building leaves me out of breath.

I had another simulation today for the new form of radiation that starts tomorrow. Having my breast flattened is so painful. It's still sore from surgery and the never ending infection I had. Plus, after three weeks of radiation, my breast is burned. Tomorrow I have my weekly visit with the radiation oncologist. Hopefully I won't want to strangle her or cuss her out.

Today I'm celebrating ice cream. Mr. B brought home a gallon of ice cream from the grocery store. Although I shouldn't be eating it (sugar is bad for cancer)' I can't help myself.

It's Cancer - Radiation #14

Thank goodness I only have five more radiation treatments. All I can do now is go for the treatments, come home and eat lunch, and then nap. I'm exhausted most of the time so I try to nap in the afternoon so I can eat dinner and spend time with the family in the evening. As I told Mr. B's cousin Billy today, I'm a tough broad and I'm going to make it through my cancer treatments. I have my eye on the goal.

Added to my list of activities today was a trip to the grocery store and then, with the help of Big Daddy Nick's grilling skills, I made burrito bowls for dinner. This was my third time of making burrito bowls and definitely the most successful.

Today I'm celebrating my 15th of 20 radiations. Tomorrow is the beginning of the last five radiations, which will be the most painful and challenging. Right now I completely understand why people seek alternative forms of pain relief during their treatments.

It's Cancer - Radiation #13

It's finally Friday, and I'm exhausted. I was so tired after yoga and radiation today that I came home and went to sleep without eating lunch. I've been told not to skip meals, but today all I wanted was some sleep.

.

Dr. Mc and Mr. B made me eat some dinner. Hopefully I'll wake up rested tomorrow.

Today I'm celebrating Princess Charlotte of Cambridge. I saw a cute clip on television of her pitching a royal fit and throwing herself on the ground. Even royal princesses get their panties in a wad when things don't happen as they would like.

It's Cancer - Radiation #12

On July 20,1969, the U.S. landed a man on the moon. On that night in history I was in Dallas attending drill team camp. We were staying in a dorm at SMU, all crowded around a television watching history taking place. Well, almost. Being a love-sick teenage girl, I was in a telephone booth with a cup full of coins feeding the machine while talking to my boyfriend in Houston. So much for history. But I've seen the pictures of the moon landing many times. Don't fault me for being young and in love.

All week long I've thought it was Friday. It's not that we have a big weekend planned so I don't know why I've been in such a rush for Friday. I'm happy to announce that tomorrow will finally be the big day.

Today I'm celebrating radiation #13. Only seven more and then I'll ring that bell.

It's Cancer - Radiation #11

I started today by meeting a friend for coffee. I don't usually drink coffee, but my latte this morning was so delicious I almost got another one after I finished at MDA. Instead I got a smoothie. I didn't realize the price of the smoothie until I got to the counter and had to pay $7.74. For a smoothie? Damn.

My conversation with Renee this morning could have gone on much longer, but I had to leave for MDA. Like me, she is looking for new creative inspiration. I put crafting on the back burner when I started my cancer treatment, but lately I've been thinking about getting to work in my study/craft center (a.k.a. the back bedroom). I think what's currently holding me back is that I'll have to declutter the room before I can do anything.

Today I'm celebrating rain. It has been raining so many days in Houston. Since it's still in the weather forecast, I might as well celebrate it.

It's Cancer - Radiation #10

This is going to be a short blog because I'm exhausted, but I still want to acknowledge being halfway finished with radiation.

My morning at MDA began with 45 minutes of yoga. Next was radiation, followed by a visit with my radiation oncologist. Finally I had another simulation to set my position for my final five radiations, which will more specifically target the site where the tumor was removed. I'll,lay more on my side with A clear "plate" on my breast to flatten it. My breast was squeezed so tightly that I could hardly breathe. It was extremely painful.

Today I'm celebrating new bras that came in the mail. Online shopping is the best.

It's Cancer - Radiation #9

While checking in for radiation today, it was announced in the reception area that one of the machines was "down" and, as a result, the appointments were running behind. A man nearby joked, "I have a pocket knife. I'll fix it." Everyone in the lobby laughed. I immediately thought about my daddy, who had a very dry sense of humor and great comedic timing. Daddy would have made a funny comment like that.

Not only was that a comment like my father would have made, but he could fix anything, many times with the small knife he always carried in his pocket. I don't know how many times he fixed things for me with his pocket knife. When the lovely McCarley sisters had loose teeth, he would tease them by saying he would remove their teeth with his little knife.

Today I'm celebrating the positive attitude I learned from my daddy, who always looked for the good in life. Lately I've been tired and sometimes I struggle to keep going. Today on the way to MDA I honestly thought about telling my oncology team that I'm done. Done with radiation. Done with treatments. Done with procedures. Done with having my breast exposed to people I don't know. Then, when the man in the radiation lobby joked about fixing the machine with his pocket knife, I took it as a sign. From heaven my daddy was reminding me to stay positive and keep moving forward. Thanks for the nudge, Poppy. I needed that kick in the pants. Your timing is still great, as is your ability to fix all things.

It's Cancer - Radiation #8 (yesterday)

I was exhausted yesterday when I got home so I didn't write and post a blog.

I had my first yoga session at MDA. Although It was mainly breathing and relaxation techniques, I was tired after 45 minutes. What amazed me is that I was sweating a little bit when we finished. I didn't expect that. Next I went to radiation. Then I had my eyes examined. It didn't surprise me that the prescription for my left eye (the same side as my cancer) has really changed. I also have dry eye in both eyes, which can occur with radiation. I need to get used to applying drops to my eyes several times a day.

Today (Saturday) I'm celebrating Galveston. Mr. B and I are going to the island this afternoon for the art walk and to meet friends for dinner. Only an hour out of Houston, but completely different from the big city. Maybe getting away for a few hours will put Mr. B in a better mood. Right now he is The Grouch.

It's Cancer - Radiation #7

I've signed up to participate in a stress management study at MDA. I went to the first session today, which was nothing but talking and instructions. I'll go every day through mid-August and am excited to learn stress management skills, including yoga, meditation, and breathing techniques. I'm not sure why the study doesn't begin until patients are in radiation. It seems to me that these skills would have been beneficial sooner.

I had radiation #7 today. Cancer is now fading to an afterthought. Soon I'll be looking at my treatments in the rear view mirror.

Today I'm celebrating a haircut. I had the long hairs cut off my head so my hair doesn't look so scruffy. It feels good.

It's Cancer - Radiation #6

I had a quiet day, probably because I slept so much. I've been told that as the week goes on, the radiation treatments build up and fatigue sets in. I'm thinking that's what happened today.

My sweet Rose was more than happy to nap with me. Even now she is on the bed sleeping.

Today I'm celebrating new hardscapes in the backyard. The yard has looked ratty since we had the deck redone earlier this year. We finally found someone who would do exactly what we wanted with flagstone. We have a little place set aside to install playground mulch and a climbing structure for TLP for his birthday, which is in about a month. it's hard to believe that he will soon be three.

It's Cancer- Radiation #5; Great news

After radiation today I had my weekly meeting with my radiology team. They showed me images from my radiations that show where the lasers are hitting my breast. I could see the pocket where my tumor was removed. It was very fascinating.

The good news from the team is that I'm going to have two more weeks of this type of radiation followed by one week targeted on the place where my tumor was located. Unless something changes between now and then, my last radiation is scheduled for Tuesday, August 1. I might have to go a couple of more days in August for a study I'm involved with, but my cancer treatments are coming to an end. [I'm experiencing tears of joy and uncontrollable laughter right now.]

Today I'm celebrating online shopping. I've been surfing Amazon almost all afternoon in preparation for my vacation at Labor Day, taking advantage on its Christmas in July specials and shipping.

It's Cancer; Radiation #4

This morning Mitzie drove me to MDA. First I met with my surgeon, who officially released me. My wound is healed and my infection is gone. I like my surgeon and her staff so much that I will miss seeing them. There was about a two hour wait before radiation so Mitzi bought me my favorite salad for lunch before going back to MDA. Radiation is now a routine. I'm in and out in 30 minutes before hitting the road for home.

Tonight I judged the pie contest. Serious business! First we judged five savory pies. Four were fabulous and the fifth had peas in it. I hate peas! Next we judged 35 sweet pies. I hope I never see another apple pie as long as I live. There were also about five lemon and lime pies. None of them were my favorite. My biggest disgust came when I had to taste not one, but two rhubarb pies. One of them actually won a prize, but not based on my scores. My least favorite was called a cowboy pie. It was so sweet that I momentarily went into insulin shock. My favorite was a buttermilk pie (some people call it cheese pie). I wish I could have brought a piece of it home with me.

Today I'm celebrating family vacations. We have rented a home in Wimberly for Labor Day weekend. The entire family will be under one roof for four days. This could be magic, or tragic.

It's Cancer - Phase 3; Radiation #3

I was just about to write this post when I heard a really loud noise outside. A huge truck had come barreling down our street and knock off a couple of branches from a 100 year-old oak tree across the street. These weren't small branches, but ones that arched across the street. First of all, there is a sign on our street that reads "No Through Trucks." Apparently the driver ignored that sigh. Also, the driver must have been going really fast to rip and drag the branches off the tree. Luckily no cars were hit by the branches that now block the street.

My time at MDA was short today. I was in and out of radiation in 30 minutes. I took the shuttle to the main MDA building. Since my hair is growing and is all different lengths, I was going to the hair salon to get a free trim. I've been going to MDA since September 2017, and have never used the salon. The day I go there a sign is on the door that it is closed from today through July 19 for renovations. Bummer.

Today I'm celebrating Chris LaMarca from Madison, OH. I've never met her, but she left me a message on Facebook. She wished me well with my treatment and told me about her mom who had breast cancer in her 40s. Her mom will be 100 in six weeks. I, too, will refer to myself a cancer survivor in a short time.

It's Cancer - Phase 3; Radiation treatment #2

I was in and out of MDA today in 45 minutes. The treatments from yesterday and today have been painless except for having to hold my left arm in a peculiar position while receiving radiation. And I'm already feeling fatigued after the treatments, but I was expecting that.

Just as when I was receiving chemo, this type of fatigue isn't relieved by sleep. I can nap and wake up still feeling tired. As an extra bonus tonight I'm grumpy. I'm not sure my husband is helping my mood. He is really chatty, which is annoying. As Greta Garbo said, "I want to be let alone."

Today I'm celebrating Susan W. She sent me a milagro of St. Peregrine, the patron saint of cancer suffers. Susan is a cancer survivor and her thoughtfulness means so much to me.

It's Cancer - Phase 3; Radiation treatment #1

Last night I was at a July 4th dinner party. One of the attendees was the OBGYN who diagnosed my breast cancer. It seemed appropriate to visit with him the night before I received my first radiation treatment. In anticipation of my treatment beginning today I ate a hearty meal and had a couple of cocktails because there will be no drinking during radiation.

My treatment this morning was uneventful, but a little stressful. Probably the majority of time was spent aligning me in the mold that was created for me last week with the machine. It's important that I'm in the exact same position for all the treatments. The most uncomfortable part was keeping my left arm to the side and slightly above my head so the radiation can be targeted to my breast. The machine that delivers the radiation is huge and moves around to different positions. Fortunately I'm not enclosed in the machine, such is the case when I've had an MRI. I take deep breaths and hold them for 15-20 seconds when receiving radiation so my breast is moved away from my heart. The surprising thing today was that I was very emotional. I should be happy that I've started the final phase of my treatment. Instead I wanted to cry and stop the entire process. I have no idea what brought on these feelings.

Today I'm celebrating independence from my chemo caps. I left the house wearing one, but had to remove it before my treatment and didn't put it back on. My body temperature must be 10 degrees cooler without the cap. This is a good thing.

It's Cancer - The go-ahead I've been waiting for

Yesterday at MDA I had my assessment and the left side of my chest was marked for radiation. I also passed the breathing test so radiation will begin on Wednesday, July 5. This will begin phase three of my treatment.

Once radiation begins, I'll receive daily treatments for four to six weeks. Side effects will include fatigue and redness of the targeted area. I won't be able to be in the sun. Drinking is also prohibited, so I'm attempting to drink as much Deep Eddy vodka as possible between now and July 4th.

Today I'm celebrating Iris Guss, who was Big Daddy Nick's maternal grandmother. Iris died a week ago and a memorial service was held yesterday. After MDA I pushed myself to get to the service and reception, and I'm glad I did. I loved hearing family stories about her, especially her practical joking. She was a special woman who enjoyed a long life.

It's Cancer - "B9"

Getting quickly to the point, the new mass I recently found in my left breast is benign, or "B9" as it was written on the preliminary report I received.

Yesterday my day at MDA began at 6:45 a.m. with an ultrasound. When the technician returned to the room after the ultrasound was reviewed and said the doctor wanted to biopsy the mass, I started crying. Although I'm a glass-half-full person, my immediate thoughts weren't positive. The doctor explained that the ultrasound showed a large mass and the biopsy was needed to determine whether or not it was cancer or scar tissue (as he suspected). It took about two (long) hours to complete the biopsy and get the preliminary report of no new cancer.

Today I'm celebrating the good news about the mass and my lingering wound. Yesterday two surgeons agreed that my wound has closed. They gave the go ahead for me to begin radiation so this afternoon I'll be back at MDA for an assessment by a radiation oncologist. My fingers are crossed that she also gives me the go ahead.

It's Cancer - Another lump

Many people have commented on my blogs about my cancer journey. For me, blogging has been cathartic. I can read about my treatments and feelings, and re-read the caring and encouraging postings from family and friends. All the positive thoughts have carried me when I thought I couldn't go on.

Last night, when I was changing the bandage on my wound, I felt another lump in my left breast. Whereas the lump that was removed on April 11 was under the nipple of my left breast, the new lump is above where my nipple used to be. Can it be another cancer tumor so soon? Scar tissue? A cyst? What else could this be? Hopefully this blog will help me put my scary thoughts in perspective. One thing for sure, I'll be on the phone to my oncologist at MDA first thing in the morning.

Today I'm celebrating Father's Day and my 65th birthday. I tried to get 65 kisses from TLP, but he can only count to eight. I gave him a bite of my Italian cream birthday cake, but it spit it up in his hand and gave it back to me. How I love that little boy!

It's Cancer - Standoff at MDA

Yesterday the radiologist said my wound has to be better before radiation can begin. Today my surgeon said my wound is better and it's fine for radiation to begin. She (my surgeon) did prescribe a topical cream to use on my wound twice a day. I see her again in two weeks.

My thoughts and prayers are with those who were shot in Virginia this morning. Such a tragic and disturbing incident that is truly hard to comprehend. The leaders of both political parties need to stop thrash talking, quit pointing fingers at others, and work together for the good of the country. They need to do what's best for the people and set aside party differences.

Today I'm celebrating nothing. I'll be in a better mood and able to see the bright side in a couple of days, but today I'm sad.

It's Cancer - Radiation postponed AGAIN

I was at MDA this morning for my radiation assessment. As soon as the radiation oncologist saw my wound she cancelled everything. My wound that opened because of the infection I got after surgery has not closed and still drains a small bit every day. To say that I'm disappointed at another delay in radiation is an understatement!

I'll be back at MDA tomorrow for my surgeon to take a look at my wound. My oncology surgeon and plastic surgeon have stated they would prefer for the wound to close on its own, but I'm ready for one of them to pull out their sewing kits and do some stitching. It has been six weeks since the wound appeared. I don't think it's going to close on its own.

Today I'm celebrating a dinner out with Mr. B. I want to get my mind off of today.

It's Cancer - Radiation postponed again

My wound has not completely healed, so my assessment for radiation will not happen tomorrow. Although I'm disappointed with another postponement, I know I need to heal first.

I'm also disappointed with my new hair color. On the back of my head there is tons of very very  short and very very dark hair. It's not long enough to tell if it will be a different texture than it was before, but I'm amazed at how dark it is. I wanted my hair to

grow back a pretty color of gray, or even white. No such luck.

Today I'm celebrating online shopping. I should be receiving some packages in the mail this afternoon. It will be like Christmas in June! Happy early birthday to me!

It's Cancer - Embracing another setback

Yesterday was Wednesday so, of course, I was at MDA. I first saw my surgeon. She is pleased with the healing of my open sore/wound on my left breast, but put something on it that was supposed to help it heal faster. Instead I woke up this morning with several blood spots on my camisole and on the sheets.

Although this is a setback, I didn't tell Mr. B or call the doctor because I don't want to go back in the hospital. I changed my bandage this morning and wore a black shirt today. If I started bleeding again it wouldn't show through my black shirt. The event I've been working on for many months is tomorrow night and I'd really be upset if I had to miss it because I was back in the hospital.

Today I'm celebrating the specialty cocktail I've concocted for tomorrow night's event. I made a batch tonight for the family and got thumbs up. Tomorrow will be a busy day preparing for the event, but I can rest over the weekend.

It's Cancer - Back on track

The catheter was removed from my left side today. It feels so good not to have a bag of bacteria hanging on my side. I have to remain relatively immobile for the next couple of days so there are no more leaks. The danger of another leak is that I will have to have another drain put in place. No thank you.

Being back on track means moving forward with radiation. As of now I have my radiation assessment scheduled for June 6. If all goes well with the assessment I'll start radiation the next day, which will be Phase Three of my cancer treatment.

Today I'm celebrating hair. I continue to rub coconut oil in my scalp every day because my scalp is dry. I'm feeling more hair although it is light and  I can't see it. Mr. B says he can see it. Right now I can just feel the fuzz. It feels like felt. I've been told that my hair will really start growing six months after chemo, which will be September. Fall has always been my favorite time of the year.

It's Cancer - Two days of waiting

Yesterday I had jury duty. I thought about asking for a disqualification because of my cancer, but I woke up feeling good so I went instead of rescheduling for a future date. I accepted my duty for public service. The new jury building for Harris County is much nicer than it used to be. Features include wi-fi, a vending room, and a snackbar with hot and cold coffees prepared by live people. I wasn't put in a jury pool so my service was complete in less than three hours.

Today I'm at MDA for a check-up. I got here this morning around 9:30 a.m. for my first appointment. My wound is healing and no longer needs to be packed. It still has to be bandaged, which is OK with me. The packing was the bad part. My drain is still in place. Maybe they'll remove it next week. Maybe. Now I'm waiting another hour for my last appointment. Unfortunately it is with a doctor who usually keeps me waiting at least an hour. By the time I leave here today it will probably be around 5 p.m. I think after sitting around all day Mr. B should take me to dinner tonight.

Today I'm celebrating Big Daddy Nick. He has been my car service for the last two days. I'm glad I don't have anymore appointments this week because he leaves tomorrow to go back on the road with The Suffers.

It's Cancer - Radiation postponed again

Radiation was supposed to start next week, but it has been postponed again because I still have an infection. Doctors who I see weekly say the infection is improving, which is good news. But healing is slow. A catheter that drains fluid from my breast into a bag I wear is still implanted. I still have an infection and hole in my left breast that Mr. B packs with gauze and bandages daily. Now radiation is tentatively supposed to start on June 6, if I'm healed.

I haven't talked about turning 65 on my June 18th birthday this year because going on Medicare has been a total frustration for me. I've been attempting to coordinate this transfer from our primary insurer (UHC) to Medicare, but kept getting a run around. Every time I called UHC I would get different information. Today Mr. B (who is only 61 ... yes, I'm a cougar) hired an insurance professional to help us. The man got more accomplished in an hour than I did in months of trying.

Today I'm celebrating Mr. B's "brofriends" who are taking him to dinner tonight. He needs a relief from the turmoil of his work and chaos of my cancer. As he was hugging me from behind today he told me he really wished I could give him a big hug, but realizes that can't happen right now. I, too, wish I could give this sweet, caring man a big bear hug, but my chest is just too sore and tender. Soon!

It's Cancer - Always looking for the positive

When I had surgery to remove the cancer in my left breast, a plastic surgeon was in the operating room. After the oncology surgeon removed the tumor, the plastic surgeon took over to work his magic. He took breast tissue from my right breast to fill in where the tumor was removed from my left breast. I'm glad he was able to do this because I didn't want a plastic implant. But wait, there's more good news.

The plastic surgeon performed a lift and reduced the size of my breasts. My girlfriends with large breasts are smiling right now because they know what time and gravity can do to us. It has now been almost a month since my surgery and I've been braless most of the time. All I need is a camisole under my top. It's like college days back in the 70s when bras were optional.

Today I'm celebrating the group of volunteers who are helping plan and execute the Empty Bowls Preview Party at the Houston Canter for Contemporary Craft. Mr. B and I are honored to chair such a great event supporting the Houston Food Bank and its mission to fight hunger. If you live in the area,

please come on June 2 from 6-8 p.m. Hundreds of bowls created and donated by local artists will be available for purchase, starting at only $25. Tickets are $50/person and are available at www.EmptyBowlsHouston.org.   FYI: With $25 the Houston Food Bank can feed 75 people! That's amazing.

It's Cancer - Radiation postponed

I was at MDA on Monday and Wednesday this week so doctors could check on my infection and talk to me about radiation. I'm sad to say that the infection on the side of my breast is still draining and I'm still wearing the drain bag, which has to be emptied and cleaned daily. On top of my left breast there is also an infection that Mr. B has to clean and pack with medicated gauze three times a day. And I'm still taking 12 antibiotics a day. The only part of this process that doesn't totally gross me out is taking three pills four times a day.

I also met with the oncology radiologist. She had scheduled me for assessment next week and radiation was supposed to start the following Monday, but that has been pushed back until I'm clear of infections, including the cold that I have. From all the chemo my body is unable to fight off infections. I really wanted to be finished with treatment by my birthday on June 18, but it doesn't look like that is going to happen.

Today I'm celebrating sweet Lisa who lives around the corner. She brought me one of my favorite sandwiches for lunch today. Yum!

It's Cancer - Trying something different

I got the word late yesterday that my doctors wanted to insert a new drain under my left arm to help rid my body of the fluid that is accumulating there. During the procedure this morning, I could hear everything that was going, but I couldn't feel anything. This is the same kind of sedative I had when the port was put into my chest. It's a very weird feeling to be able to hear, but unable to move or feel pain. After time in recovery the pain and a headache came, and so did the good meds.

Doctors still haven't identified the specific bacteria that is causing my infection. They know the class of bacteria so they have added more antibiotics to my IV. I may be released to go home tomorrow, which would make me very happy. Like most hospitals, nothing happens at MDA on the weekends. I'd rather go home with a bunch of pills instead of staying in the hospital.

Today I'm celebrating my nurse Gabe. He is a young fellow with a great sense of humor who
kept me entertained all day.

It's Cancer - Hectic day at MDA

Around 5:30 a.m. today doctors started knocking on my hospital door to look at my left breast. I'm pretty sure at least half of the oncology staff has peered under my gown, peeled the bandages back, poked at my breast and said "hum" before leaving the room. I must have the most popular boob at MDA.

I just had an ultrasound because the fluid is building in my left breast and arm. Now the doctor may aspirated the fluid with a syringe or possibly reinsert a drainage tube. From the small amount the doctor was able to get yesterday the lab has determined that there is bacteria in the fluid, but they haven't been able to identify the type. This is important so that the antibiotics can be more targeted.

Today I'm celebrating Mr. B again. He has stressed himself out between his work and worrying about me. I keep telling him not to worry about me. I have room service, the TV remote control to myself, a book, my iPad, and my favorite pink shawl to keep me warm. If I could just get the IV out of my arm I would be in heaven.

Missing this little stinker while
he is on vacation with this
Mama and Dada.

be in heaven.

it's Cancer - I have a leak

When I woke up this morning my camisole was covered in blood. For a moment I thought I was dreaming about being in a Godfather's movie so I checked the bed for a horse head, but it was me bleeding. Mr. B cleaned me up and we found blood coming out of my left breast near stitches.

We came to MDA where it was determined that I have fluid pockets that are a result of surgery. Usually a person's body will absorb the fluids or the fluids will escape through the drain tubes, but my tubes had already been removed. I also have a serious infection in my left breast so I was admitted to the hospital for 48-72 hours of intravenous antibiotics. 

Today I'm celebrating Sweetness who has spent most of the afternoon in my hospital room. We have figured out how to monitor the room temperature, and we just ordered smoothies from room service. We need an afternoon pick-me-up. I'm also celebrating Mr. B who spent the morning getting me admitted to MDA. I don't know what I would do without my family.

It's Cancer - Post-surgery update

I think it was the night before surgery that the battery on my laptop died. So far I haven't been able to get to the Apple Store so I'm using my iPad. This morning I remembered the password to my blog account so I can post, but I haven't figured out how to move the image to the top of the page.

My surgery was 10 days ago. Even though the surgery was successful, since then I've been feeling pretty lousy. I'm swollen and sore across my chest from one armpit to the other. I have stitches on my chest below and on both breasts, as well as more stitches on my right chest (near my collar bone) where my port was removed, and more stitches on my left chest near my armpit where lymph nodes were removed. "Draining tubes" were inserted on the side of each breast. Poor Mr. B had to empty and clean the tubes twice a day. Fortunately the drains were removed on Monday (ouch). As the swelling goes down I'll feel less pressure in my chest. Right now it feels like there is a 100-pound weight on my chest. I'm trying to remain calm until my swelling is gone and the massive amount of stitches fall out. Probably by the first of June I'll start radiation, which I'll receive five days a week for five or six weeks.

Today I'm celebrating what I hope will be a speedy recovery. In baseball terms, I feel I've passed second base (surgery) and am heading for third base (radiation). Soon I'll round third base and head for home plate (cancer free). Go team!

It's Cancer - Pre-op begins

I was at MDA this morning being examined and receiving instructions about my surgery next Tuesday. While I'm excited to get the surgery behind me, I''m also nervous. Until a couple of days ago, I was fine with the prospect of having a long scar across my left breast and no nipple, but now I'm letting it bother me. I suppose it will take some time to adjust to my new post-surgery "look." I just need to stay calm and carry on, as the expression goes.

Yesterday afternoon Mr. B and I saw two documentaries, one of which was about sculptor/metal artist Ed Wilson. About 15(?) years ago, Mr. B and I bought a sculpture by Ed that's in our front yard. His latest project was unveiled in November 2016, in the lobby of the George R. Brown Convention Center. Our sculpture is about 7 feet tall, while Soaring In The Clouds in GRB is a 67-foot-high mobile of shiny stainless steel clouds and cutout birds. It's amazing! 

Today I'm celebrating friend and filmographer Ray Hylenski. Ray documented Ed making his monumental sculpture and installing it at GRB, and presented his film yesterday. It was a interesting to watch, plus Mr. B and I got to see lots of friends. Thanks, Ray, for inviting us to the preview and taking my mind off my worries.

It's Cancer - Proceeding to surgery

I got the news yesterday that my tumor has shrunk enough and my surgery will take place as scheduledN. There were three tests performed last Wednesday and the results showed that chemo worked. My tumor is now approximately 1 cm x 1 cm x .5 cm. No more chemo.

I don't have to visit MDA this week, although I do have to have my blood drawn today. My internist wants to check my thyroid level. I've taken medication to regulate my thyroid for years, but my internist thinks that the chemo might have changed it. We'll see, but he is probably correct.

Today I'm celebrating Truett Bryan Akin, Jr., who is better known to me as Daddy or Poppy. He died 10 years ago today, which was one of the saddest days of my life. To other women who have recently lost their fathers. know that the sadness will dull and the memories last forever.  

It's Cancer - Fingers crossed

It has been two weeks since I finished chemo and I'm feeling so much better, other than tingling in my fingers and toes, and weakness in my legs. My chemo rash is bad, but looking better. All is good.

I was at MDA most of today so doctors could run tests to determine the size of my tumor. I had a regular mammo, a 3-D mammo, and an ultrasound. After all the results are compared, doctors can gauge the size of my tumor. If it has shrunk enough, surgery to remove the tumor will take place on April 11. I'm keeping my fingers crossed and feeling positive. I don't want more chemo.

Today I'm celebrating the return of Big Daddy Nick. After three-plus weeks in Europe touring with The Suffers he returned to Houston today.

It's Cancer - Chemo Phase 2, Number 12 of 12 - I'm Done!

I was so excited today around 1:30 p.m. when the nurse pulled the last chemo needle from my chest. It was amazing to think that I don't have to lay in a bed and have chemicals pumped into me again. I have a couple of appointments before my surgery on April 11, but no chemo next week or ever again. It's a great feeling.

I'm excited, but I'm exhausted at the same time. I always feel weak after chemo, but today I also have a headache and a pain in my chest where the chemo was administered. Pain pill to the rescue.

Today I'm celebrating Lisa (who drove me to MDA this morning) and Kelly (who drove me home from MDA and brought me a sandwich). I can't give enough thanks to all the people who have driven me to and from the hospital the last five months.

It's Cancer - National Cereal Day

Of the more than 314 million people in the U.S., 49 percent start their days with a bowl of cereal. Do you?

I'm ready to start walking and rebuilding my strength. I'm also ready for chemo to be finished so my chemo rash will go away, as well as the numbness in my hands and feet. My legs are incredibly unsteady today. 

Today I'm celebrating Susan and Wayne. Tasty lunch today with long-time friends.

It's Cancer - Rainey days and Mondays always get me down

Mr. B and I went to a couple of neighborhood art openings on Saturday and then had dinner at Southern Goods. It's not often that I get Mr. B to try a new restaurant. Usually I go to the new restaurant at noon months before I can get him to go for dinner. He loved the shrimp and grit balls at Southern Goods, as well as the special for the night: grilled ribs with strawberry glaze. I was concerned that strawberries would make the glaze too sweet, but it was wonderful. And the ribs had lots of meat on them, which was also wonderful.

Speaking of grilling, the Houston Rodeo barbecue contest was this past weekend. It's hard for me to believe that the overall grand champion is from ... Iowa. What? A state in the heart of the Corn Belt wins the barbecue cook-off?.

Today I'm celebrating avocados. I had half of one on my turkey and swiss sandwich today. Very yummy.

It's Cancer - Another pretty day in Houston

I'm feeling better today than I did yesterday, but still not ready to jump around. There are a couple of art events tomorrow night that I'd like to attend so I'll just save my strength for them.

Speaking of events, Mr. B and I have been asked to chair an event in June. Before I make up my mind, I need to speak to the organizers to find out exactly what will be expected of us. I'm not one to simply be an event chair "in name only," so I need to know more to ensure that I'll be well enough.

Today I'm celebrating former president George W. Bush. He has been promoting his book Portraits of Courage that celebrates American veterans. I think it's very honorable of him to not criticize the current commander in chief when asked. It's also refreshing that he doesn't take himself too seriously and he is able make fun of himself. Our current president should learn how to not be so critical of others, how to be more humble, and how to take a joke. But I don't see any of those happening.

It's Cancer - Laying low

It's a beautiful day outside. I wish I would get dressed and sit outside and read or something, but I can't seem to find the strength today. I need to keep in mind that I only have one more chemo treatment left. Then I'll be able to regain my strength and grow hair. I don't know which I'm more excited about.

I'm already thinking passed my last chemo and surgery and radiation to when I'm cancer free. Eye on the prize.

Today I'm celebrating stupidity. Former Texas governor Rick Perry is the new energy secretary of the U.S. Why? Who can forget Perry’s infamous “oops” statement in which he forgot that the Department of Energy was among the agencies he would abolish if elected president. Fortunately he was not elected president. Unfortunately he is now in charge of the DOE. Crazy stupid.

It's Cancer - Chemo Phase 2, 11 of 12

I'm too tired this afternoon to be excited that I only have one chemo treatment left.

I appreciate neighbor Tracy taking me and coming back to get me. Now that I'm home I've taken nausea and pain medications, so I'll be "out" soon.

Today I'm celebrating the first day of Lent. I went to the chapel at MDA, said a prayer, and had ashes applied to my forehead. I reflected this morning on what to "give up" and decided that I'll not being enjoying sweets during Lent. Good thing I finished all those Girl Scout cookies last night.

It's Cancer - A quiet day

I've done as little as possible today in preparation for tomorrow's second-to-last chemo treatment. I let Rose out the door to do her business. I went to the kitchen to get water and something to eat. As a result of drinking so much water I went to the bathroom more times that I can count.

I'm not planning to watch DJT's televised address to Congress tonight. The more I see him the more he bothers me. I think he is finding out that all his promises to the American people aren't as easy to accomplish as he thought, yet he can't admit it. And don't get me started on his appointees and cabinet.

Today I'm celebrating Fat Tuesday. I'll try my best to eat every Girl Scout cookie in the house before bedtime. Can't wait to see my weight tomorrow.

It's Cancer - Sweet treats from a sweet friend

I'm going to go to the grocery store this afternoon, or at least that is my plan. I don't need any groceries, but I do need to get out of the house. I think walking in the store while holding onto cart is an excellent idea. I'll keep my purchases to a minimum since the weight I can lift is still restricted.

I'm excited about an event that MDA is presenting at the Museum of Fine Arts Houston this Thursday night. The topic is the link between lifestyle, cancer prevention and overall health. MDA will present research and recommendations for anti-cancer living, and, in collaboration with MFAH docents, they will link this lifestyle with works of art in the galleries. The only problem is that is the night of my writing class and I've missed the last two sessions because I wasn't feeling well the day after chemo. I wish I could be two places at once.

Today I'm celebrating Katy who brought a box of six pastries to the house yesterday from her favorite bakery in Galveston. I keep nibbling on them, trying to decide which one I like best. Right now there is a six-way tie.

It's Cancer - Tired today

I don't feel bad, I'm just tired. Maybe it is Rose's snoring that makes me think a nap is a good idea.

It's warm today, but tomorrow it's supposed to be colder. I told someone earlier that maybe the every-other-day change in the weather is what keeps me from getting rid of my runny nose and cough.

Today I'm celebrating Dr. Mc. She made a delicious dinner last night. She also brought home Girl Scout cookies. Perfect!

It's Cancer - Best wishes to family starting their journey

On my way through the MDA Hayes Building lobby yesterday, I heard my name called. I turned around and there was a friend from my neighborhood. After a hug and her asking how I was doing, she told me that her family had just learned that her sister has ovarian cancer.

I was sad all afternoon thinking about that family and what lays in front of them, and reflective about my own cancer journey. I can well remember what it felt like to receive my diagnosis. What fear and concern my friend's family must feel at this time. After chemo I have two more parts to my journey (surgery and radiation) so I shouldn't feel as I'm through my battle, but I do have great optimism for the future.

Today I'm celebrating the new seven-day steroid pack I started this morning. My limbs are covered with the chemo rash again. Hopefully the steroid pack will improve the ugly, itchy rash, as well as the inflection that's affecting my blood cell counts and making me tired and weak.

It's Cancer - Chemo Phase 2, Number 10 of 12

Mr. B and I got home from MDA around 8:30 p.m. Mitzie had been with me at MDA since noon for blood work, port access, appointment with oncologist, and waiting for chemo to begin. Mr. B arrived just before chemo started to relieve Mitzie.

The oncologist was one hour late for our appointment and chemo was two hours late starting. I just can't understand why these appointments are always late. I get impatient waiting, but really hate it when someone has to wait with me. Nothing is more boring and frustrating that sitting around with other sick people.

Today I'm celebrating the movie Roman Holiday. It started just when chemo began and I was able to watch the ending when we got home. I can't count the number of times I've watched the movie and I still enjoy watching it again and again.