It's Cancer - Radiation #19

The madness is almost over. I have just one more radiation treatment tomorrow and then I'm done. Sometime between 1-1:30 p.m. tomorrow I'm walking out of the treatment room and ringing the bell so loudly. And when the cashier returns my parking ticket and says, "See you tomorrow," I'm going to smile and say, "No you won't."

One thing on my agenda for tonight is to get either Dr. Mc or Big Daddy Nick to teach me how to stream live from my iPhone to Facebook, although I'm not sure I'll be behind the camera tomorrow. The radiation technicians are so young they probably already know all the iPhone tricks.

Tonight I'm celebrating my last night as a cancer patient. Beginning tomorrow, I'll refer to myself as a cancer survivor. I like the way that sounds.

It's Cancer - Radiation #18

After radiation today I went to my yoga class at MDA. The last 10-15 minutes of each class is deep relaxation, which I love. At one point the instructor says to merge with the big, blue sky. I usually make it to the clouds where I gently float. It's so relaxing.

Instead of floating in the clouds today I imagined being supported by angel wings. I can still feel how silky soft the wings were against my skin, and how cool it was when the angel wings fluttered. I believe the angel wings represent my family, friends and post readers who have raised my spirits and supported me throughout my treatments. The fluttering of the wings helped me release tension and frustration. It was a great yoga session.

Today I'm celebrating Friday night/pizza night. As a surprise, stopped by Red Dessert Dive on the way home from MDA for some yummy cupcakes. TLP loves a "treat" after dinner, and so does Tutu.

It's Cancer - Radiation #17

By the end of radiation today I had tears running down my checks. The technicians were back in the room a minute after the radiation stopped. They were wiping my tears and apologizing for the discomfort. They helped me put my gown back on and walked with me back to the dressing room. I laughed when they all told me how much they loved the pink vans I had on. My theory is that cute shoes can always help a girl get through a tough situation.

Every day when I walk from the radiation room back to the dressing room I pass by the bell on the wall and tell myself how many treatments I have left. Today I whispered to myself, "Only three left; you can do this."

Today I'm celebrating the breakfast tacos that Dr. Mc made for dinner. They were delish!

It's Cancer - Radiation #16 (for real this time)

Math has never been a strong subject for me, but I should be able to count to 20. Or so I thought. Yesterday I was reviewing my posts and realized that I had skipped radiation #12. I cried myself to sleep when I realized that I have one more radiation treatment than I thought.

The real radiation #16, which took place around 12:45 p.m. today, was as painful as I had been warned it would be. I used the breathing techniques I've learned to help calm myself. It was amazing how I could feel my muscles relax as I breathed through the pain.

Today I'm celebrating all things lavender. When I got home from MDA I lathered my arms with lavender scented lotion. It helped calm me down and soothe my dry skin. Radiation has done a number on my skin.

It's Cancer - Radiation #15

I'm amazed at how easily I tire. Even something as simple as walking, yoga and breathing exercises leave me exhausted. Yoga is in another building from where I get radiation. Walking to and from that building leaves me out of breath.

I had another simulation today for the new form of radiation that starts tomorrow. Having my breast flattened is so painful. It's still sore from surgery and the never ending infection I had. Plus, after three weeks of radiation, my breast is burned. Tomorrow I have my weekly visit with the radiation oncologist. Hopefully I won't want to strangle her or cuss her out.

Today I'm celebrating ice cream. Mr. B brought home a gallon of ice cream from the grocery store. Although I shouldn't be eating it (sugar is bad for cancer)' I can't help myself.

It's Cancer - Radiation #14

Thank goodness I only have five more radiation treatments. All I can do now is go for the treatments, come home and eat lunch, and then nap. I'm exhausted most of the time so I try to nap in the afternoon so I can eat dinner and spend time with the family in the evening. As I told Mr. B's cousin Billy today, I'm a tough broad and I'm going to make it through my cancer treatments. I have my eye on the goal.

Added to my list of activities today was a trip to the grocery store and then, with the help of Big Daddy Nick's grilling skills, I made burrito bowls for dinner. This was my third time of making burrito bowls and definitely the most successful.

Today I'm celebrating my 15th of 20 radiations. Tomorrow is the beginning of the last five radiations, which will be the most painful and challenging. Right now I completely understand why people seek alternative forms of pain relief during their treatments.

It's Cancer - Radiation #13

It's finally Friday, and I'm exhausted. I was so tired after yoga and radiation today that I came home and went to sleep without eating lunch. I've been told not to skip meals, but today all I wanted was some sleep.

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Dr. Mc and Mr. B made me eat some dinner. Hopefully I'll wake up rested tomorrow.

Today I'm celebrating Princess Charlotte of Cambridge. I saw a cute clip on television of her pitching a royal fit and throwing herself on the ground. Even royal princesses get their panties in a wad when things don't happen as they would like.

It's Cancer - Radiation #12

On July 20,1969, the U.S. landed a man on the moon. On that night in history I was in Dallas attending drill team camp. We were staying in a dorm at SMU, all crowded around a television watching history taking place. Well, almost. Being a love-sick teenage girl, I was in a telephone booth with a cup full of coins feeding the machine while talking to my boyfriend in Houston. So much for history. But I've seen the pictures of the moon landing many times. Don't fault me for being young and in love.

All week long I've thought it was Friday. It's not that we have a big weekend planned so I don't know why I've been in such a rush for Friday. I'm happy to announce that tomorrow will finally be the big day.

Today I'm celebrating radiation #13. Only seven more and then I'll ring that bell.

It's Cancer - Radiation #11

I started today by meeting a friend for coffee. I don't usually drink coffee, but my latte this morning was so delicious I almost got another one after I finished at MDA. Instead I got a smoothie. I didn't realize the price of the smoothie until I got to the counter and had to pay $7.74. For a smoothie? Damn.

My conversation with Renee this morning could have gone on much longer, but I had to leave for MDA. Like me, she is looking for new creative inspiration. I put crafting on the back burner when I started my cancer treatment, but lately I've been thinking about getting to work in my study/craft center (a.k.a. the back bedroom). I think what's currently holding me back is that I'll have to declutter the room before I can do anything.

Today I'm celebrating rain. It has been raining so many days in Houston. Since it's still in the weather forecast, I might as well celebrate it.

It's Cancer - Radiation #10

This is going to be a short blog because I'm exhausted, but I still want to acknowledge being halfway finished with radiation.

My morning at MDA began with 45 minutes of yoga. Next was radiation, followed by a visit with my radiation oncologist. Finally I had another simulation to set my position for my final five radiations, which will more specifically target the site where the tumor was removed. I'll,lay more on my side with A clear "plate" on my breast to flatten it. My breast was squeezed so tightly that I could hardly breathe. It was extremely painful.

Today I'm celebrating new bras that came in the mail. Online shopping is the best.

It's Cancer - Radiation #9

While checking in for radiation today, it was announced in the reception area that one of the machines was "down" and, as a result, the appointments were running behind. A man nearby joked, "I have a pocket knife. I'll fix it." Everyone in the lobby laughed. I immediately thought about my daddy, who had a very dry sense of humor and great comedic timing. Daddy would have made a funny comment like that.

Not only was that a comment like my father would have made, but he could fix anything, many times with the small knife he always carried in his pocket. I don't know how many times he fixed things for me with his pocket knife. When the lovely McCarley sisters had loose teeth, he would tease them by saying he would remove their teeth with his little knife.

Today I'm celebrating the positive attitude I learned from my daddy, who always looked for the good in life. Lately I've been tired and sometimes I struggle to keep going. Today on the way to MDA I honestly thought about telling my oncology team that I'm done. Done with radiation. Done with treatments. Done with procedures. Done with having my breast exposed to people I don't know. Then, when the man in the radiation lobby joked about fixing the machine with his pocket knife, I took it as a sign. From heaven my daddy was reminding me to stay positive and keep moving forward. Thanks for the nudge, Poppy. I needed that kick in the pants. Your timing is still great, as is your ability to fix all things.

It's Cancer - Radiation #8 (yesterday)

I was exhausted yesterday when I got home so I didn't write and post a blog.

I had my first yoga session at MDA. Although It was mainly breathing and relaxation techniques, I was tired after 45 minutes. What amazed me is that I was sweating a little bit when we finished. I didn't expect that. Next I went to radiation. Then I had my eyes examined. It didn't surprise me that the prescription for my left eye (the same side as my cancer) has really changed. I also have dry eye in both eyes, which can occur with radiation. I need to get used to applying drops to my eyes several times a day.

Today (Saturday) I'm celebrating Galveston. Mr. B and I are going to the island this afternoon for the art walk and to meet friends for dinner. Only an hour out of Houston, but completely different from the big city. Maybe getting away for a few hours will put Mr. B in a better mood. Right now he is The Grouch.

It's Cancer - Radiation #7

I've signed up to participate in a stress management study at MDA. I went to the first session today, which was nothing but talking and instructions. I'll go every day through mid-August and am excited to learn stress management skills, including yoga, meditation, and breathing techniques. I'm not sure why the study doesn't begin until patients are in radiation. It seems to me that these skills would have been beneficial sooner.

I had radiation #7 today. Cancer is now fading to an afterthought. Soon I'll be looking at my treatments in the rear view mirror.

Today I'm celebrating a haircut. I had the long hairs cut off my head so my hair doesn't look so scruffy. It feels good.

It's Cancer - Radiation #6

I had a quiet day, probably because I slept so much. I've been told that as the week goes on, the radiation treatments build up and fatigue sets in. I'm thinking that's what happened today.

My sweet Rose was more than happy to nap with me. Even now she is on the bed sleeping.

Today I'm celebrating new hardscapes in the backyard. The yard has looked ratty since we had the deck redone earlier this year. We finally found someone who would do exactly what we wanted with flagstone. We have a little place set aside to install playground mulch and a climbing structure for TLP for his birthday, which is in about a month. it's hard to believe that he will soon be three.

It's Cancer- Radiation #5; Great news

After radiation today I had my weekly meeting with my radiology team. They showed me images from my radiations that show where the lasers are hitting my breast. I could see the pocket where my tumor was removed. It was very fascinating.

The good news from the team is that I'm going to have two more weeks of this type of radiation followed by one week targeted on the place where my tumor was located. Unless something changes between now and then, my last radiation is scheduled for Tuesday, August 1. I might have to go a couple of more days in August for a study I'm involved with, but my cancer treatments are coming to an end. [I'm experiencing tears of joy and uncontrollable laughter right now.]

Today I'm celebrating online shopping. I've been surfing Amazon almost all afternoon in preparation for my vacation at Labor Day, taking advantage on its Christmas in July specials and shipping.

It's Cancer; Radiation #4

This morning Mitzie drove me to MDA. First I met with my surgeon, who officially released me. My wound is healed and my infection is gone. I like my surgeon and her staff so much that I will miss seeing them. There was about a two hour wait before radiation so Mitzi bought me my favorite salad for lunch before going back to MDA. Radiation is now a routine. I'm in and out in 30 minutes before hitting the road for home.

Tonight I judged the pie contest. Serious business! First we judged five savory pies. Four were fabulous and the fifth had peas in it. I hate peas! Next we judged 35 sweet pies. I hope I never see another apple pie as long as I live. There were also about five lemon and lime pies. None of them were my favorite. My biggest disgust came when I had to taste not one, but two rhubarb pies. One of them actually won a prize, but not based on my scores. My least favorite was called a cowboy pie. It was so sweet that I momentarily went into insulin shock. My favorite was a buttermilk pie (some people call it cheese pie). I wish I could have brought a piece of it home with me.

Today I'm celebrating family vacations. We have rented a home in Wimberly for Labor Day weekend. The entire family will be under one roof for four days. This could be magic, or tragic.

It's Cancer - Phase 3; Radiation #3

I was just about to write this post when I heard a really loud noise outside. A huge truck had come barreling down our street and knock off a couple of branches from a 100 year-old oak tree across the street. These weren't small branches, but ones that arched across the street. First of all, there is a sign on our street that reads "No Through Trucks." Apparently the driver ignored that sigh. Also, the driver must have been going really fast to rip and drag the branches off the tree. Luckily no cars were hit by the branches that now block the street.

My time at MDA was short today. I was in and out of radiation in 30 minutes. I took the shuttle to the main MDA building. Since my hair is growing and is all different lengths, I was going to the hair salon to get a free trim. I've been going to MDA since September 2017, and have never used the salon. The day I go there a sign is on the door that it is closed from today through July 19 for renovations. Bummer.

Today I'm celebrating Chris LaMarca from Madison, OH. I've never met her, but she left me a message on Facebook. She wished me well with my treatment and told me about her mom who had breast cancer in her 40s. Her mom will be 100 in six weeks. I, too, will refer to myself a cancer survivor in a short time.

It's Cancer - Phase 3; Radiation treatment #2

I was in and out of MDA today in 45 minutes. The treatments from yesterday and today have been painless except for having to hold my left arm in a peculiar position while receiving radiation. And I'm already feeling fatigued after the treatments, but I was expecting that.

Just as when I was receiving chemo, this type of fatigue isn't relieved by sleep. I can nap and wake up still feeling tired. As an extra bonus tonight I'm grumpy. I'm not sure my husband is helping my mood. He is really chatty, which is annoying. As Greta Garbo said, "I want to be let alone."

Today I'm celebrating Susan W. She sent me a milagro of St. Peregrine, the patron saint of cancer suffers. Susan is a cancer survivor and her thoughtfulness means so much to me.

It's Cancer - Phase 3; Radiation treatment #1

Last night I was at a July 4th dinner party. One of the attendees was the OBGYN who diagnosed my breast cancer. It seemed appropriate to visit with him the night before I received my first radiation treatment. In anticipation of my treatment beginning today I ate a hearty meal and had a couple of cocktails because there will be no drinking during radiation.

My treatment this morning was uneventful, but a little stressful. Probably the majority of time was spent aligning me in the mold that was created for me last week with the machine. It's important that I'm in the exact same position for all the treatments. The most uncomfortable part was keeping my left arm to the side and slightly above my head so the radiation can be targeted to my breast. The machine that delivers the radiation is huge and moves around to different positions. Fortunately I'm not enclosed in the machine, such is the case when I've had an MRI. I take deep breaths and hold them for 15-20 seconds when receiving radiation so my breast is moved away from my heart. The surprising thing today was that I was very emotional. I should be happy that I've started the final phase of my treatment. Instead I wanted to cry and stop the entire process. I have no idea what brought on these feelings.

Today I'm celebrating independence from my chemo caps. I left the house wearing one, but had to remove it before my treatment and didn't put it back on. My body temperature must be 10 degrees cooler without the cap. This is a good thing.