It's Cancer - Chills and Nausea

These two words describe my afternoon following yesterday's chemo: chills, nausea. For probably 12 hours I alternated between shivering and sleeping for an hour to kicking everything off and sweating while thinking I would vomit. It was a rough afternoon.

I "pilled up" last night and slept well. This morning I woke up feeling better. My joints are achy and my arms feel as if they weigh 100 lbs. each, but this is manageable.

Today I'm celebrating "quiet." The house is empty, except for Rose and me. Mr. B is working and everyone else went to Denver for a NYE wedding. I'm not sure what to do with only the sound of Rose snoring.

It's Cancer - Chemo day

I was at MDA at 6:15 a.m. to have blood work. Next I had my port accessed. Chemo started around 7:45 a.m. Since I had to be at the hospital so early, Mr. B dropped me. When I finished chemo I called Sweetness. She took me from the hospital to my house.

I had a quick bite to eat so I could take my medication for nausea and vomiting, as well a pain pill. In about 20 minutes I should be out. Big Daddy Nick and Dr. Mc are going shopping and taking TLP with them, so the house will be nice and quiet.

Today I'm celebrating Kelly Melone. She and I shared office space for many years. Yesterday she brought me pink roses and goodies to eat. It was good to catch up with her.

It's Cancer - It's Christmas Eve

The little elves have been busy in the house today. We traded turns entertaining TLP at times, but it's all ready ... and I was able to sit down and put my feet up before the rest of the family arrives.

It was 80+ in Houston today so we have cranked the air conditioning down low. I just watched the news and today wasn't as hot as it was last year on Christmas Eve. I remember not too many years ago when it snowed on Christmas Eve. That's more like it.

Today I'm celebrating family who have passed and won't be at our Christmas Eve table. I miss you all.

It's Cancer - Christmas Eve Eve

I'm so glad that I didn't have chemo this week. Except for the usual shortness of breath that I've been experiencing, I feel really normal and ready to complete my pre-Christmas activities.

Dr. Mc got us all organized last night and created to-do lists for each of us. I don't think anyone has worked on his/her to-do list except Mr. B. He's on Santa's permanent "nice" list.

Today I'm celebrating Christmas Eve Eve. When the lovely McCarley sisters were little, both of them called today (December 23) Christmas Eve Eve. They wanted to extend Christmas as long as they could.

It's Cancer - Too warm for wool hats

On days like today, when I leave the house, I always put a hat over the fuzz that remains on my head. Although it's supposed to be winter, the high in Houston today will be in the 70s, which is too hot for a wool hat. I need to practice scarf tying. The scarves will hopefully be cooler than the hats.

All of the presents I've bought are still unwrapped. Yes, I have the wrapping paper and ribbon. Yes, I have the time. What's missing is the energy.

Today I'm celebrating the annual girls Christmas brunch that occurs with Katy, Kay and Marilyn. It's always fun to catchup with these ladies. And the added bonus is that we meet at The Houstonian, which is beautifully decorated for Christmas.

It's Cancer - No chemo today

I was at MDA all morning, but didn't have chemo. Since I just had one last Friday, we skipped today. I pick back up with chemo this coming Wednesday.

Today I had the smush-y mammo done. The technician was very nice, but every time I said "ouch" I swear she turned the knob one more time. I also met with my surgeon. It seems early since I have 11 more chemos. I meet with her again in February with surgery probably to occur at the end of April or first of May. Between now and the time I meet with the surgeon again I'll meet with the plastic surgeon who will also be in the operating room.

Today I'm celebrating wrapping, which is on my agenda for tonight after dinner. But first, I think it's nap time.

It's Cancer - Another cold day

I was having some joint pain last night, which is one of the side effects of the new chemo. I took a pain pill, went to sleep, and woke up feeling hungry. I must be feeling OK because my appetite has returned.

Mr. B and I were making our list and checking it twice last night. Just a few things left to get. Ho. Ho. Ho.

Today I'm celebrating "local." There is a kid's store in the 'hood I plan to visit, along with a bookstore. I may have lunch out, also. I love shopping local!

It's Cancer - Making ready for Christmas

I started Phase II of chemo treatments last Friday. I had been told that this second batch of chemo would be better tolerated, and so it was. I was at MDA at 6:30 a.m. for blood work. Then I had my port accessed. Next was a consultation with the doctor. Chemo started around 11 a.m. and I was home around 1:30 p.m. I slept most of the afternoon and all night. I woke up on Saturday morning feeling OK.

Saturday Mr. B ran errands and attended an art lecture while I rested before a party Saturday night. Thanks to Sandy and Dave for delicious dinner and fun gift exchange. Sunday we went to church and then to breakfast at Mitzie and Bob's. And thanks to Richard and Sherry for bringing soup last night. This is definitely the right weather for warm soup.

Today I'm celebrating Anne. We played catch up at lunch with Kelly. Unfortunately, Anne had a dentist appointment and didn't get to go shopping for wrapping paper with us. Christmas items are already on sale.

It's Cancer - Phase II of chemo begins tomorrow

Mr. B will drop me at MDA tomorrow morning in time for my blood work at 6:30 a.m. Next I'll have my port accessed before being examined by my oncologist. Around 9 a.m. chemo is supposed to start. If everything goes on schedule, I should be home and in bed by noon or so, and asleep soon thereafter.

I went to the Dollar Store today to get gift boxes. I was in and out in no time, but now realize that I should have gotten some stocking stuffers while I was there.

Today I'm celebrating Lynn Roberts, a high school friend. A group of high school girlfriends get together every year in January. I was concerned about driving myself this year to New Braunsfels, which is where we meet most years. Today I got an email from Lynn who also lives in Houston. She offered me a ride to and from the reunion. Just one more example of human kindness.

It's Cancer - Feeling peaceful

I'm so pleased that the decision about Phase II of my chemo treatment is confirmed. I'll see my oncologist this Friday and my surgeon next Wednesday. I owe them both big hugs for their consideration of my options and coming to my aid yesterday. I know it's their job to take care of patients, but there's nothing wrong with thanking them for a job well done.

I think having chemo once a week will be tiring, but it's only for 12-weeks. And as I wrote yesterday, chemo for 12-weeks is much better than the possibility of have permanent heart damage.

Today I'm celebrating cooler weather. It's below 70 degrees outside now, and getting cooler.

It's Cancer - Chemo decision made

We had a great family discussion last night about my chemo options, not to mention delicious chili made by Big-Daddy Nick. Separately we came to the same decision: I should follow the experimental treatment that would be administered every three weeks and better target my cancer. But that all changed this morning.

I got a call from my oncologist this morning and we had a long discussion. She had spoken with my surgeon before speaking to me. After listening to what I had to say, she felt that the clinical researcher who talked to me last Friday, as well as the clinical nurse I spoke to yesterday, didn't do a good job explaining the possibility of an infection. Since my cancer is in my left breast, just above my heart, both doctors felt that I might be at risk of infecting my heart, which could have serious and long-lasting complications. It was their recommendation that I receive Taxol, which is the standard-of-care, weekly for 12-weeks chemo treatment. I agree. The last thing I want is to kick breast cancer, but be left with heart problems.

Today I'm celebrating moving forward with the knowledge that I'll be receiving the best possible treatment for my breast cancer. I feel good!

It's Cancer - Change in chemo

I've spent most of today reviewing what I received from the doctor and nurses about my chemo options. Basically, the chemo I've been receiving has done a good job of shrinking the size of my tumor, but has slowed down. My doctor is recommending that I switch to a more aggressive form of chemo.

Option #1: Taxol given by IV once a week for 12 weeks (about three hours). On the positive side, this is a "standard-of-care" treatment that is better tolerated by patients than some other forms of chemo. The medication has many of the same side effects I've been experiencing: nausea; hair loss; numbness, pain or tingling; fatigue; mouth sores; skin rash. The con as I see it is that I have this chemo once a week, which doesn't leave much recovery time in between treatments.

Option #2: Combination of three drugs. Doxil and Avastin given by IV every 21 days (about six hours) and Afinitor (taken daily by pill). (Doxil is approved by the FDA to treat breast cancer; the other two medications are approved to treat other forms of cancer and are being tested to see if they can have the same results on breast cancer.) This is a clinical research study to learn if receiving four cycles of experimental chemotherapy (believed to be more targeted to patients with triple-negative breast cancer, which is part of my diagnosis) before surgery can help to shrink the size of tumors in the breast and/or lymph nodes before they are removed through surgery. The side effects are about the same. (I asked the clinical nurse about the most common side effects and she said it was mouth sores.) The con as I see it is that there is a greater risk of infection, such as the cold I've had for two weeks. Doctors will monitor this closely and will take me out of the protocol if this combination isn't working for me. And the most positive outcome of participating in this research is helping other people in the future with what is learned from research. 

Today I'm celebrating a close family who I trust to help me make the right decision about the future of my treatment. It takes a village. 

It's Cancer - Chemo cancelled

Instead of chemo today, I was sent for a chest x-ray to determine if I have pneumonia. I'm at home now waiting on the results. Chemo is rescheduled for next Friday afternoon.

Next week I also have to let the doctors know if I want to continue with the standard chemo treatment I've been receiving or switch to a more aggressive medication. The current chemo treatment is working in reducing the size of my tumor. However, there is a more aggressive treatment that they would like to try. The side effects are more, but so are the benefits in that the more aggressive treatment is better targeted to my cancer. Either way I go, I'll start receiving chemo every week. I see a family conference happening this weekend to discuss my options.

Today I'm celebrating Sweetness, who was with me at MDA. She was great at asking questions and taking notes for me at the hospital. Before bringing me home, she took me to get freshly made soups from Whole Foods for today and tomorrow. Now for a nap.

It's Cancer - Unexpected biopsy

Big Daddy Nick took me to MDA this morning for what I thought would be a quick visit. I was supposed to have blood work and an ultrasound today in preparation for tomorrow's chemo. Something on the ultrasound made the doctors perform a biopsy. I still a big bruise on my breast from the biopsy that was performed at the end of September. Today I came home with my breasts wrapped to help with the bruising.

When Big Daddy came back to get me I was in tears. Some potato soup and a pain pill later I was asleep. Then everyone came home and now I'm awake, but still sleepy.

Today I'm celebrating family. They treat me so well, even making me eat when I don't want anything!

It's Cancer - A field trip

Right on time this morning Mitzie was here to chauffeur me to City Centre. It was a great day for shopping because it was cold outside and uncrowded inside. I made it about an hour and a half walking around before we called it quits and went to lunch.Yummy Mexican food. Thank goodness my distaste of onions has passed.

Tomorrow is prepping for chemo on Friday. I have blood work done and then a mammogram. This is the easy part. Friday, Sweetness will be with me at MDA for an appointment with my oncologist, port access and chemo.

Today I'm celebrating Mitzie. I honestly don't know what I would do without her.

It's Cancer - What a beautiful day

I'm feeling so much better today. Only a little bit of a couch and runny nose. Topo Chico is taking care of the scratchy throat. No mouth sores. Ha! I thought the cold/chemo combo was going to kick my butt, but I got this.

I put on one of my favorite shirts this morning only to discover (after removing the cleaning tag) that there is a hole near the hem. I hate it when that happens.

Today I'm celebrating a beautiful day. Girlfriends Chris and Kelly took me to lunch and we were able to sit outside at Hunky-Dory. Nothing surpasses catching up, eating a yummy meal, and receiving positive energy from for these fine ladies.

It's Cancer - A gloomy, rainy day

Mitzie and I were going to take a field trip to the Town & Country area, which I think is now referred to as City Centre although it's nowhere near the center of Houston. Anyway, it was raining so much this morning that we rescheduled.

On the health front, I'm once again somewhat audible and my nose is barely running. Unfortunately, I'm coughing so much my throat and chest are very sore. Recovery from this round of chemo has been very difficult because of my cold. Or maybe a truer statement is that getting over my cold has been more difficult because of chemo. Whichever, I'm tired of hacking.

Today I'm celebrating a brand new grand-nephew. Austin Clarence Pettit was born on November 29 to Byron's nephew and his wife, Matt and Kristina Pettit. The baby's pictures are adorable. We've never been to Atascadero, Calif. where they live, but I read: Close to everywhere you want to be, the City of Atascadero offers access to hundreds of wineries ... and the Pacific Ocean is just minutes away, as is stately Hearst Castle. Sounds like a great place where we should visit!

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It's Cancer - Repurposing the Astrodome

After watching the Texans play football against the Packers in the snow, I'm thinking the Houston Sports Authority should make a deal to move the Astrodome to Green Bay. How is it that Green Bay, where it snows often, doesn't have an indoor stadium and Houston has multiple?

The family was going to get a Christmas tree today, but the weather has kept us indoors. I'm still in bed not feeling well with Puffs at the ready, but smiling every time TLP has run into the bedroom or passed the door. He is still in his pajamas and continually singing Christmas songs. The tree can wait.

Today I'm celebrating the angels. I feel them surrounding me today, lifting me and helping me feel better.

It's Cancer - Mouth sores are back

I have things to do, but maybe not today. It's damp and cool outside, and I don't need my cold and stuffy nose getting any worse. I think the best thing to do is stay indoors and take medicine for my sore throat and mouth sores.

Climbing on my soap box, I'm tired of Speaker of the House Paul Ryan referring to Social Security Benefits as an "entitlement." I've paid into Social Security since I was 19 years old. I look at the Social Security statement that comes to the house and realize how much I've paid into the program. How can they cut back on the benefits?

Today I'm celebrating Mexican food. It's Friday and Mr. B likes to bring Mexican food home. I'll be ready.

It's Cancer - Normalcy

I'm sometimes forwarded articles about breast cancer such as the one I received yesterday from Kathleen. It was written by an oncology nurse who, after working with breast cancer patients, got the diagnosis herself. It was a beautifully written blog about how the nurse came to understand the feelings of cancer patients. 

In one example of what she came to understand she wrote about something that hit home with me. I've heard from so many friends since I announced I had breast cancer, yet there are still people (who I consider my friends) who have never acknowledged my diagnosis. The blogger explained this behavior very well: "You certainly couldn't blame them – you have even done the same to others when traumatic life events happened – and no you didn’t want to go out for drinks anyway because you don’t feel good. But you need normalcy." To those who haven't contacted me, it's fine to say something as simple as, “I’m so sorry this happened to you.” If you feel overwhelmed by the prospect of interacting with me it’s OK to say, “I don’t know what to say.” But when you say nothing at all or avoid me entirely, I feel abandoned and think you don’t care. This is what people need to understand.

Today I'm celebrating awkward moments. To those people who haven't contacted me, you don't have to assume the role of cheerleader, saying things such as “Don’t worry about it,” or “You’ll be fine.” I just need normalcy, which includes past friendships.