It's Cancer - No More

Among the most important days in my life, today is up there. Numbers one and two in my life events would be the births of the lovely McCarley sisters. Number three is the birth of my grandson. And today, the day my radiation oncologist told me that I am cancer free, is also terrific.

I tried to remain positive during the months of my treatment, although I have to admit that it wasn't always easy to look at the bright side. There were days when I hurt so much that I couldn't get out of bed except to go to the bathroom. There were nights when Mr. B rubbed lotion on my arms that were covered with itchy chemo rash to help calm me. I remember the shock of seeing my chest after surgery. Even now my body is so swollen from steroids that my wedding ring won't fit on my finger. And I don't know which is worse, my swollen face or my semi-bald head. But there is an incredibly bright side ... I've survived breast cancer. In the upcoming months my strength and hair will return, and the chemicals will leave my body. And for the rest of my life I'll have a special place in my heart for my family and friends who supported me during this difficult time.

Today I'm celebrating LIFE.

It's Cancer - Radiation #19

The madness is almost over. I have just one more radiation treatment tomorrow and then I'm done. Sometime between 1-1:30 p.m. tomorrow I'm walking out of the treatment room and ringing the bell so loudly. And when the cashier returns my parking ticket and says, "See you tomorrow," I'm going to smile and say, "No you won't."

One thing on my agenda for tonight is to get either Dr. Mc or Big Daddy Nick to teach me how to stream live from my iPhone to Facebook, although I'm not sure I'll be behind the camera tomorrow. The radiation technicians are so young they probably already know all the iPhone tricks.

Tonight I'm celebrating my last night as a cancer patient. Beginning tomorrow, I'll refer to myself as a cancer survivor. I like the way that sounds.

It's Cancer - Radiation #18

After radiation today I went to my yoga class at MDA. The last 10-15 minutes of each class is deep relaxation, which I love. At one point the instructor says to merge with the big, blue sky. I usually make it to the clouds where I gently float. It's so relaxing.

Instead of floating in the clouds today I imagined being supported by angel wings. I can still feel how silky soft the wings were against my skin, and how cool it was when the angel wings fluttered. I believe the angel wings represent my family, friends and post readers who have raised my spirits and supported me throughout my treatments. The fluttering of the wings helped me release tension and frustration. It was a great yoga session.

Today I'm celebrating Friday night/pizza night. As a surprise, stopped by Red Dessert Dive on the way home from MDA for some yummy cupcakes. TLP loves a "treat" after dinner, and so does Tutu.

It's Cancer - Radiation #17

By the end of radiation today I had tears running down my checks. The technicians were back in the room a minute after the radiation stopped. They were wiping my tears and apologizing for the discomfort. They helped me put my gown back on and walked with me back to the dressing room. I laughed when they all told me how much they loved the pink vans I had on. My theory is that cute shoes can always help a girl get through a tough situation.

Every day when I walk from the radiation room back to the dressing room I pass by the bell on the wall and tell myself how many treatments I have left. Today I whispered to myself, "Only three left; you can do this."

Today I'm celebrating the breakfast tacos that Dr. Mc made for dinner. They were delish!

It's Cancer - Radiation #16 (for real this time)

Math has never been a strong subject for me, but I should be able to count to 20. Or so I thought. Yesterday I was reviewing my posts and realized that I had skipped radiation #12. I cried myself to sleep when I realized that I have one more radiation treatment than I thought.

The real radiation #16, which took place around 12:45 p.m. today, was as painful as I had been warned it would be. I used the breathing techniques I've learned to help calm myself. It was amazing how I could feel my muscles relax as I breathed through the pain.

Today I'm celebrating all things lavender. When I got home from MDA I lathered my arms with lavender scented lotion. It helped calm me down and soothe my dry skin. Radiation has done a number on my skin.

It's Cancer - Radiation #15

I'm amazed at how easily I tire. Even something as simple as walking, yoga and breathing exercises leave me exhausted. Yoga is in another building from where I get radiation. Walking to and from that building leaves me out of breath.

I had another simulation today for the new form of radiation that starts tomorrow. Having my breast flattened is so painful. It's still sore from surgery and the never ending infection I had. Plus, after three weeks of radiation, my breast is burned. Tomorrow I have my weekly visit with the radiation oncologist. Hopefully I won't want to strangle her or cuss her out.

Today I'm celebrating ice cream. Mr. B brought home a gallon of ice cream from the grocery store. Although I shouldn't be eating it (sugar is bad for cancer)' I can't help myself.

It's Cancer - Radiation #14

Thank goodness I only have five more radiation treatments. All I can do now is go for the treatments, come home and eat lunch, and then nap. I'm exhausted most of the time so I try to nap in the afternoon so I can eat dinner and spend time with the family in the evening. As I told Mr. B's cousin Billy today, I'm a tough broad and I'm going to make it through my cancer treatments. I have my eye on the goal.

Added to my list of activities today was a trip to the grocery store and then, with the help of Big Daddy Nick's grilling skills, I made burrito bowls for dinner. This was my third time of making burrito bowls and definitely the most successful.

Today I'm celebrating my 15th of 20 radiations. Tomorrow is the beginning of the last five radiations, which will be the most painful and challenging. Right now I completely understand why people seek alternative forms of pain relief during their treatments.